picture of a pie

The AFL Dave's Mom's Thanksgiving Pie Thanksgiving-Pie-Guessing Contest, 2011

Extremely Official Rules

  1. One entry per person.
  2. A maximum of one entry per household is preferred. We encourage members of the same household to team up and submit a single joint entry. If for some reason you insist on submitting two entries from the same household (and please, no more than that), you must make your guesses independently of one another. Coordinating two entries from the same household is prohibited.
  3. All participants are expected to be viewers/fans of the Late Show with David Letterman.
  4. The deadline for entry is 12 noon EST on Monday, November 21, 2011.
  5. No wagering.
  6. Void where prohibited.
  7. I like pie.
  8. Adherence to the rules is by the honor system. The Pie Committee reserves the right to reject entries if warranted, and may cancel the contest at any time if it ceases to be fun for them. Remember that this is only a game. It's a pie contest, for crying out loud. There's nothing huge at stake here, and if you try to cheat you really are a jerk.
  9. Eligibility
    • Members of the Pie Committee (Helen Read, Traci Gilland, and James Langdell) are not eligible for either the Grand Pie Prize or the Virtual Pie Prize.
    • Dave's Mom, members of Dave's Mom's immediate family, and anyone else with inside information as to what pies Dave's Mom is baking this year, are not eligible for the Grand Pie Prize.
  10. Scoring
    • Each traditional (pumpkin or cherry) pie is worth 10 points. Each exotic pie, which is defined to be anything other than pumpkin or cherry, is worth 20 points. You do not need to guess pies in the same order that Dorothy or the Pie Machine bake them.
    • The Pie Machine 314159 is allergic to pumpkin and cherry.
    • Pie ingredients are commutative. For example, if the actual (or virtual) pie is "Apple-Walnut" you get full credit for a guess of "Walnut-Apple" pie.
    11. Dave and his Mom

    Dave and his Mom, c. 1995

  11. Dorothy's Pies. The contestant with the highest score for guessing what pies Dorothy bakes for Thanksgiving this year, as revealed on the show, will be declared the Grand Pie Prize Winner.
    • Breaking Ties In the event of a tie for the most points, we will go to the Tie-Break Question. The winner of the Tie Break is the contestant who comes closest to predicting the number of Pie Utterances during the show on which Dorothy's pies are revealed this year. If there is still a tie, whatever entries are still in the running will be placed in a hat and a winner will be pulled out of the hat at random.
  12. The PM314159's Virtual Pies. The PM314159 will begin by virtually baking an array of 10 pies. The highest score that is at least 50 points wins the Virtual Pie Prize.
    picture of an early PM314159 programmer

    An early Pie Machine programmer, c. 1995

    • Sudden Death Pie Overtime. If no contestant has a score of at least 50 points after the initial array of 10 pies has been baked, the PM314159 will bake additional arrays of 5 pies at a time until someone reaches a score of 50 points, or a total of 20 virtual pies have been baked, whichever comes first. At this time the highest score wins.
    • Breaking Ties. In the event of a tie for the most points after regulation play or SDPO, we will go to the Tie-Break Question. The winner of the Tie Break is the contestant who comes closest to predicting the number of Virtual Pie Utterances emitted by the Pie Machine. If there is still a tie, we will go to the Virtual Hat Method. In the Virtual Hat Method, whatever entries are still in the running will be loaded into the Pie Machine 314159, which will choose a winner at random.
  13. Who cares about all that. What do I get if I win?
    • The winner of the Grand Pie Prize wins an actual home-baked pie, baked especially for you by Traci. Visit the Pie Prize Wonderland for full details from Traci.
    • The winner of the Virtual Pie Prize receives a package of Whoopie Pies.
    • In addition, winners earn bragging rights on alt.fan.letterman. The Grand Pie Prize winner may use the title "AFL Dave's Mom's Thanksgiving Pie Thanksgiving-Pie-Guessing Grand Champion 2011" in your .sig for all eternity, or as long as you feel like it. The Virtual Pie Prize winner may use the title "AFL Dave's Mom's Virtual Pie Virtual-Pie-Guessing Champion 2010" in your .sig for all eternity, or as long as you feel like it. All participants other than the Grand Pie Champion and the Virtual Pie Champion are permitted to use the title "AFL Dave's Mom's Thanksgiving Pie Thanksgiving-Pie-Guessing Miss Congeniality 2011" in their .sig for all eternity, or as long as they feel like it.
  14. Notification. A summary of the pie entries received will be posted on alt.fan.letterman after entries have closed. Sometime during Thanksgiving week (exact time TBD), the Pie Committee (Helen, Traci, James) will convene a meeting via conference call to review the results of the Late Show Pie-broadcast, and the Chief Mathematician will fire up the Pie Machine 314159 for the virtual pie baking festivities. Results will be announced on the AFL. Winners will also be notified by e-mail.